Apartments in Syokimau estate in Nairobi, Kenya where Gloria Kerubo used to stay with Martha from October 2022 until Martha moved out in December 2022.
Dangers of a kind heart
by Eric Bosire • 20 July 2023
We live in a complex world of happiness, conflicts and sorrows, a world with all sorts of people, we have kind hearted people and people who are not kind at all. In my experience kind hearted people are few and rare to find. Life has thrown difficult situations at people economically, socially and mentally to a point of affecting their kindness.
Kindness is the act of being compassionate, selfless and merciful. It is the virtue of showing love. It is good to be kind to one another for purposes of love and unity in a community. We should show kindness just like Jesus did and extend it to our enemies. It is one of the ways that shows in deed someone is a follower of Jesus Christ. The Bible says in Galatians 5:22-23, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”
Many a times we have seen the act of kindness from people, we have seen individuals helping the sick, people living with disabilities and the needy. It is at this juncture of being nice that the kind heart is prone to danger. People take advantage of the kindness in a person for selfish gains. On this subject matter, I decided to look for a person to give me a personal experience of their kindness being taken for a ride.
I met Gloria Kerubo*, a beautiful, young single mother of two children. She stays in Nairobi, but I was lucky to meet her at her cousin’s office in Kisii town. She was in Kisii to visit her cousin to discuss some business propositions. The cousin is my friend, he briefly introduced me to Gloria and soon enough she was free to share her story. She was a bit nervous, but I knew with time she would be confident. The cousin excused himself and left the office for us. Gloria cleared her throat, changed her sitting position and started to narrate her story.
She met a girl in church, this girl claimed she did not have a place to stay because she was thrown out by her aunty. The girl served well in church, she was a member of the praise and worship team and through the senior pastor’s approval Gloria agreed to host this girl. “She came to my house, I took her in as my little sister’’, Gloria said. Being a kind hearted woman, Gloria got this girl (let’s call her Martha**) a job.
She spoke to her Boss and Martha was offered a job. They stayed happily together for four months, Gloria providing food and taking care of the bills and rent. One day Martha suggested that they move to a bigger house and that they will be sharing the rent and the bills. “That was a brilliant idea she brought because the house was small and I have two children”, said Gloria. So they moved to a bigger house, but when it was time for paying the rent and bills, Martha did not keep her promise of contributing to the bills. She used her money for her own pleasures, buying good clothes, expensive shoes, make-up, and jewelry, putting a burden on Gloria.
The bills were so overwhelming to Gloria because on top of it, she has two children to take care of and pay school fees for. "I asked myself what Jesus would do in that situation?" Said Gloria. She thought to herself, being the mature one, she would continue taking care of the situation to her best ability.
Efforts to have Martha help in paying the bills landed on deaf ears. They stayed together for a couple of months until Gloria felt she could not take it anymore. Martha was wise enough to sense that Gloria was furious about the situation, and so she moved. She went and pleaded her case at her aunt’s place, who again after two weeks threw her out. At the same time, Martha lost her job because of incompetency. She had no other place to run to but to Gloria again.
She begged Gloria to forgive her and that she had learnt her lesson. Gloria, being a good Christian and a believer, forgave her and vouched for her at work, and she was accepted back but with conditions to be productive and maintain discipline. I was curious to know why Gloria forgave Martha that fast, bearing in mind what she had taken her through. "Jesus said we should forgive 7 times 70 times a day," Gloria said.
So Gloria gave Martha another chance. She welcomed her back in the house. They stayed happily for two months Martha holding well to her end of the bargain until hell broke loose again. Martha reverted to her old habits of not contributing to the bills. She took Gloria's kindness for weakness. A thought of throwing her out started lingering on Gloria's mind, but another thought of what people would think of her also emerged. Remember, Gloria and Martha were serving together in the praise and worship team in their church. To the church members, Martha was like a daughter to Gloria because she used to call her mum just like her children. Martha took this to her advantage and made her business not to support Gloria in taking care of the bills.
What made things worse for Gloria is that Martha knew she would not be chased away for a second time. Her host would be deemed a bad host. “What will people say if I chase her away? Oh God, please help me,” lamented Gloria. Martha used this to hold Gloria at ransom and manipulate her. She was not helping in anything, not even the house chores, she was concentrating on social media, not contributing anything whatsoever, leaving Gloria to shoulder all the burden.
Gloria turned to God in prayer because efforts to talk to Martha were not fruitful. God heard Gloria's prayers, and one morning, Martha decided she was moving out. "The mention of moving out brought a sigh of relief to myself that I cannot explain," said Gloria.
Martha used Gloria’s kindness to gain favors, from getting employment, to giving her a place to stay to helping her regain her job back after being sacked, to having her back in her house for a second time after being rejected by her relatives. "She put me through a lot, took me to a place I've never been before, but I now know better and pray to God to help me on how to deal with such situations in future", said Gloria.
After Martha left Gloria’s house, she got her own house. Unfortunately, she was later demoted at work because of being unproductive in her position. After all Martha had done to Gloria she still had the audacity to ask her for help to be reinstated to her position. Gloria did not help her.
Despite being put in a predicament by Martha, Gloria chose to forgive her. "I have forgiven her because the Bible encourages us to forgive one another. I still love her, but from a distance, 'a wise man sees trouble and hides, but a fool runs to trouble', praise God," said Martha. Gloria further quoted the Bible and said that she would be wise as snakes and innocent and doves (Matthew 10:16).
God has given us the wisdom to discern situations. "I don't think I'll be put in a similar situation, I have learnt my lesson and wouldn't want anyone to suffer like I suffered. In everything we do, let's do it as if we are doing it to the glory of God," said Gloria.
Gloria is thankful to God for the chance to stay with Martha. It taught her one big life experience, and maybe now she knows better.
Next: Understanding population statistics in Kisii, Kenya, by Eric Bosire.
Notes:
* Gloria is not the real name of my interviewee, she requested that I hide her identity. back
** I named the girl Martha because Gloria did not disclose her real name. back
About the author:
Eric Bosire is a Kenyan Journalist. He is based in Kisii.
About the image:
Photograph taken by Gloria at the author’s request.
Suggested citation:
Eric Bosire: Dangers of a kind heart, MissionField News (ISSN 2813-2270)
https://missionfield.news/2023/10_Dangers
2023-07-20.